When I was 36 I gave birth to my second child and last child (so I thought). I was so surprised at the amount of testing I had to have done compared to when I was pregnant with my first child in my 20s. As if we didn’t have enough to worry about, some doctors and nurse are hell-bent on scaring us into getting the procedure done to make sure our child is healthy. I turned down the amniocentesis because I felt it was too invasive. So the left it at that. Thankfully my son was born a very healthy baby. Six years later I was surprised by the stork when I found out I was pregnant at 41. At first, I was in denial about the whole thing. After all, I want planning on having more children. I was in my 40s now. This time was supposed to be for me. I had just.started.in Hunter college and I was planning on taking on the whole world. The reaction from family members where mixed. My husband saw it as a divine intervention because God wanted to give us another child. Well was God going to support another child? My oldest child was very excited about having a new sibling but my son, my main man insisted it was just food in there. Eventually, he came around when I informed him he would be in charge of the new baby’s safety. For the first time, he was excited about being a big brother. I was still having a little difficulty coming to terms with it, after all, been pregnant in your 40s came with lots of risks and of course a boatload of testing that made my second pregnancy look like a field day. I realized that it wasn’t the baby that I was fearing it was anxiety that I got from the birth of my second child. When he was born I had a bad experience during my c-section, that made me not ever want to have more children. And of course there was a lot more test this time and the doctors were a lot more insistent that I have them done. Plus I had a lot more complication this time around. I put it all down to my age. I  worried the whole time. I did not bask in the Joy’s of this pregnancy like the others because I was expecting something terrible to happen. By the time it came to have my third C-section which by the way was very scary for me, I had been poked and prodded some many time, it took six nurses and 12 different attempts to get an IV into me. Finally, they called in the heavy artillery( the anastiologist) and he was able to insert to IV. My hands looked like I just went 12 rounds with a prizefighter. I guess all of the worries were not showing because the nurse that was tending to me let me know that I was at very high risk of bleeding out because this was my third C-section. Hence the two IVs and hence all the worry. When a woman has multiple C-section they are at risk for so many things during surgery. That day April 17 at 8.52am my third amazing child came into the world safe and sound and I survived my third C-section. My heart didn’t give out like I thought it would and all that stuff I worried about during my pregnancy was gone. The whole surgery and hospital experiences were completely different from my second pregnancy. It was mainly because of the hospital I choose this time. I was cared for like I was a VIP from the time I got there to the time I left. Conor was born at Queens Presbyterian in Flushing and the nurses and the CNAs could not have been any nicer if they tried. Being pregnant over 40 does come with its own set of problems, but worrying about them is the doctor’s jobs. I had to keep reminding myself throughout the whole pregnancy that I was a healthy 42-year-old. There was nothing to worry about. Finally Inwas able to enjoy my new bundle. I know in the beginning I was not happy about being pregnant but that changed as soon I met my 2nd main man Conor. As for his older siblings, they can’t get enough of him until he drops a load and then I’m on my own. Lol. The medical field has made some great advances over the years and now more and more women are choosing to start their families in their 30s and 40s. Maybe it was Devine inspiration or just whatever. But here I am now a mother of three amazing beings and still taking on the world.

By: Dympna

October 11, 2018

Having a new baby is a very exciting time in someone’s life, whether it’s your first child or your third child. It can also be a little nerve racking too especially if it is your first time giving birth. We all have this image in our mind what the actual labor will feel like and how we will handle the labor. For the most part, we go into labor and deliver a healthy, happy baby but for some of us it doesn’t work out as well as we planned. For my first pregnancy, everything was perfect during the whole pregnancy. Then the due date comes and goes and my darling daughter was not making her grand entrance into the world. Fast forward almost ten days later and she still wasn’t showing any sign of making an entrance. The only thing left to do was induce labor which means forcing your body into labor. 14 hours later, there still wasn’t a baby so the doctors decided they would do an emergency c-section. Within minutes she was here at a healthy 7lbs 4 oz. The biggest downside to having a c-section for me was I did not get to hold my baby until the next day, plus it took a little longer to recover after all I just had major surgery. Now in 2018, I have 3 children, all born through c-section. Each one was a totally different experience. It is reported today in the United States that almost 33% of births are through c-section. Some of them are for medical reasons and some are performed for convenience. What ever the reason, c-sections are becoming controversial. Women have been shamed because they’ve had c-section. They have been accused of been lazy and afraid of the pain. They been accused of not experiencing childbirth or knowing  what it is like to have a child naturally. Kate Hudson once said the laziest thing she ever did was to have a c-section. Although I believe her comments were taken out of context, there is nothing lazy about having a c-section. 15 years ago it saved my daughters life. As for experiencing child birth, I might not have had the same experience as some one who delivered vaginal but I have experienced childbirth three times and I have the scars to prove it. Does it really matter how we bring our children into this world as long as they get here safe and sound? The people out there who feel like they are entitled to shame mothers who have had c-section over vaginal births need to step back and look at the bigger picture, which is a happy healthy baby. We all have the same jobs ahead of us, raising our children happy and healthy.